stoned catIt did not happen over night.  Back when I first got Brandi, my orange fur ball, I did what most single guys do at the time.  Go to the store and buy whatever dry cat food was on sale.  She was not thrilled with it, but liked it well enough.  And life was good.

However, every now and again, I would forget to fill her food bowl.  She would let me know this…. at 6:00am.  She was pretty insistent that she got her food.  If not, I would sometimes find gifts around the house that used to be food.  I fixed this quick enough by getting an auto feeder.  Life was good again.

Then one day I was talking to a Vet and she told me that I was basically giving her McDonald’s every day, thus her weight problem.  I needed to move her to better quality food targeted to overweight cats.  When I first bought it, she did not like it AT ALL.   So I bought what seemed like still healthy but not weight-loss food.  She likes that, so when I put the weight-loss food in, its her ‘disappointment’ food; called that because of her reaction when she sniffs it.  Then I put a little ‘favorite’ dry in and she is happy.  So as long as she gets some of the favorite food, then she can eat the disappointment food when she is really hungry.  Life was good again.

Then one day, I was talking to another Vet, and doing some research online and found out that older cats need wet food, and a dry food only diet was not great for cats of any age.  So as a single guy I bought wet food that was on sale as a compliment to the dry diet.

And then things went bad.

Seems that some brand of wet food is just as bad or worse then McDonalds because its FAR more addicting!  Yes my cat LOVES wet food.  So much so that she is no longer thrilled to get the favorite food, no, that was just a gateway drug to the Crack wet food.  And she has to have it.  The big mistake was we started feeding her wet food in the morning.  Then for a few weeks I had to get up really early in the morning, so I feed her then.  Now, as soon as the sun starts to rise, the demon cravings kicks in.  She HAS to have her wet good fix!  And after lots of meowing, if I do not get up, she needs to make a point.  Peeing on the shower mat is her first go to.  Then perhaps dropping little post food gifts on the floor.  One time peeing in my girlfriends slipper. And JUST the slipper.  Pretty skilled if you ask me. For whatever reason, she blames my girlfriend for holding out on her.  Could still be jealous of the ‘new woman’ in my life.

So now I’m a slave to my Crack based wet food addicted cat.  I have to get up early in the morning, even on the weekends to give her her fix or else she will make me pay.

The next step is to buy healthy wet food and introduce that in the morning and give her a little bit of crack at night.  Hopefully, she will start to focus on wanting her fix at night, which is much easier to deal with, then at 6:00am.  Well see.

So a word of warning.. Be careful, DO NOT let your cat become a wet food crack head. Pay the extra money, get your cat the right food and for love’s sake, do NOT feed it first thing in the morning!

One comment on “My Cat is addicted to Crack

  • Yeah man, the cat food corporations are putting the equivalent of MSG into pretty much all the different brands nowadays, and MSG was specifically invented to make food insanely tasty and ADDICTING to humans. Great way to boost profits.

    The logic is that if your cat is full of chemicals he will pester the s#!t out of you like a just like a crack head because his stomach hurts from the withdrawals and is jonesing for more of that juicy goodness. Thus you obviously will give him more food than what you had planned on, thus using more food, and thus BUYING$$$ more. And its not just in the canned food, its in the bagged as well.

    Cats are pretty well behaved out in the wild, so long as they have REAL MEAT to thrive on. You need to get a meat grinder and start grinding up chicken legs in there, and other bird like meats, bone and all, and feed your cats the way they’re suppose to be!

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